So here we are again with another check in. I never really know how to start these post… I always feel a bit awkward about it all and never sure of what I’ll end up writing to be honest.
My last post like this was about five months ago so I thought I’d better check in again. All is good here, I’m loving the Jersey life and have settled in to my job well, as far as I’m a wear 😉 . No one has told me otherwise anyway… So heres hoping, ha ha. I am however really struggling with a routine. Not to mention the fact that my spending is out of control and my eating is actually just shocking. Back to the routine issue for the moment.
I just seem to be all over the place with this, at home (Dublin) I had it down to a T, it was just myself and Jarek thought and I was in full house wife mode so I was in full control of most things. Here we live with my sister, which I love, but its her home and I can’t really get into her way of doing things. It’s terrible, but even talking about it now is making my chest all tight, I can’t breath normal, next I’ll break out into a rash. This is my own doing you know. If you follow me you will know I suffer from anxiety and OCD, so long story short, sorry Gilly, but threes a crowd. Jarek is so laid back and either just goes with the flow or just lets me get on with it so for us it works. We are not 100% sure, but we are hoping after Christmas to get our own place. This in itself will probably be a disappointing journey as apartment prices are sky hight and you need to have lived in Jersey for 5 year to rent a lot of them, but Jarek can deal with all that. I’m on strike!
Routine wise I have a lot of things to squeeze into my days. What I’ve tried to do over the past few months is have a back log of videos for my YouTube as this just makes most sense for me! I’m also hopping to do the same with my blog but I seem to be finding this more difficult. I know I’ll get there, but I’m a very impatient. I want it all yesterday! I think what annoys me most is me! I could be on top of all this shit, but with my anxiety its like a vistious cycle. I get anxtious because I don’t use my time wisely and then when I have a plan of action it’s very unrealistic so I get stressed out have a panic attach and end up doing fuck all. Then I kill myself for being that way. Jesus life is fucking difficult! In the words of The Weeknd “Trying to stay sane is like a full time hobby”.
I know once I get this sorted I will feel so much better, so I hope to concentrate on this aspect for the next few months. Leave me a comment below if you have any tips or tricks you think would be helpful. I’m always open to new idea.