Anxiety Check In Lifestyle

My Life at the Moment || Me, Myself and Anxiety

16/02/2016

Hello my lovely little Magpies.

I’ve got lots of great reviews coming your way but just wanted to check in and give you an update on what’s going on with me! 

As I’m sure you know I’m now living in Jersey Channel Islands. I moved here in May 2015. I decided to make the move after a realisation that I wasn’t sure what I was doing with my life and I was in a massive rut! I had visited my sister Gillian in the summer with my friend Mel and had the best time! After that the seed of doubt was plated on wheather Dublin was really the place for me at this time in my life. 

Luxury Jewellery is the trade I work in! I’ve been in the trade for many years now and have always felt design is where I want to go with my career. My background is Fine Art so I would say I have a keen eye and a flair for design, also I’m a magpie so it’s a perfect fit.

After talking to a few people in the industry in Dublin it seemed to me that going into the smithing side of things would be the best option. I wasn’t 100% convinced but really wanted to give it a try. I decided to change jobs for the Christmas period so I could save more money and then take a break and get an internship.

I spent a month jobless and trying to pursue this and it broke me. I became very depressed, really unhappy and doubted every choice I had ever made in my whole life. A month doesn’t sound like a very long time but Jesus it felt like years. I found a lot of interships online. Most through FAS (an Irish get back to work type thing) so I decided to go and have a chat with them. I met with a lovely fellow called Partick and we hit it off. He liked my honesty and straight forwardness and I liked his kindness and understanding. We did a lot of prep work and I felt very prepared for the interviews I had lined up.

Sadly even though it was an intern position, due to the recession, many fully trained goldsmiths were going for the same position and every single interviewer mentioned how personable I was and that they like me more for dealing with clients. This should have been a compliment but as I wanted to move into the design side this was frustrating to hear. Needless to say I was not offered an intership.

I was oddly relieved. My gut said this was not the right move, I really wanted to get into design and in Ireland it seemed the only way to do this was through goldsmithing. I have done a few tester courses for making jewellery and really enjoyed it but, couldn’t see myself doing that for the rest of my life. I am too much of a people person and love helping them bring their ideas to life.

My sister was moving house so I had arranged to go over and help her in Jersey. I had intended to check out job opportunities while I was there but had not intended on actually applying for any thing, Gillian had other plans… She heard about an opportunity in a jewellery shop, came home with my CV printed, picked out an interview outfit for me to wear and gave me a contacts name. I was pretty much marched down to the shop ha ha. Anyway I popped into the shop and as I had experience I was asked to come in for an interview the next day. It went really well and they said they would be in touch. I liked the shop and I think was very swayed by my sisters excitement and bigging up of what my life could be like here.

And here I am. The process was a long one and Jersey has funny rules were a permit is needed for you to work unless you have been on the Island for over 5 years. Its all very confusing and stressful to be honest, I was rejected the first time. I had built up the situation in my head so much that I became rather anxious all the time and depressed in stages. I know it wouldn’t have been the end of the world but as I had started to pack up my life and thought I would be sorted once I got to the island when I was rejected I was very shocked and questioned everything.

Thats what I tend to do, I’m not one of those people that if they get told you can’t do it they set out to prove everyone wrong, I take things more to heart and I think “well they must be right because why would someone be cruel enough to lie to another being like that”. 

But as we all know it turned out fine and actually the timing turned out perfect and so far I know I’ve made the right decision in coming here. I truly believe that everything happens for a reason and that whats for you will not pass you.

I would love to hear how you guys are! I hope that my honesty and openness has given you some piece of mind and a glimmer of hope. Things might seem really hopeless but one small change and a lot of patience can make a HUGE difference.

Love you lots,

MagpieMagpie xo

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